I made an appointment today to get a personal demo of the Apple Watch. It did not begin well, since the store’s watches are stored in an electronically locked drawer, and my sales lady took some time to get it open.

Once open, she first showed me all the wristband options — metal, fabric, etc. Then she asked “Are you ready to place an order?”

No, I said, I wanted to see the functionality. So she then pulled out another watch.

“The is the 38 mm version. You can see it’s somewhat smaller.”

I could see that.

“So would you like to order this one?”

“Please show me the functions.”

So she went over to another table with an Apple Watch mounted into a secure board — secure from extraneous movement, secure from rapid theft too, I presume.

“Say you want to know the temperature in London”… click…”or New York”… click.. “Or…”

“Let me see something else.”

“This is your GPS, so you can find where your friends are.”

My putative friends were microdots on a very tiny screen. And these days, I’m rarely on the streets searching for my wanderings pals.

“Or say you wanted to monitor your heart rate…”

No thanks.

“Here is the camera function… if you have an iPhone, you can take picture by pressing this button…” But I already have a remote bluetooth shutter release that works very well, and a handy stand to hold the iPhone.

“Thanks. I’ll think about it.”

Since I carry my iPhone with me all the time — and I don’t even wear a watch — I could see no earthly reason why I should by an Apple Watch.

I was mistaken about the future and utility YouTube, and I’m not 25 years old. But I think I’ll watch this one from the bleachers.

Update in 2021:

I certainly called that one wrong. I wear my Apple watch daily, and use it to monitor my walking, swimming, etc. exercise to motivate my pursuit for better health (or, at least, to lessen the slope of entropy).